This blog chronicles my journey as a follower of Jesus who experiences same sex sexual attractions.  As an evangelical Christian who adheres to orthodox doctrines, I seek to live faithfully to the vision of sexuality proclaimed in the scriptures, including that God intends for sex to be experienced only in a lifelong heterosexual marriage.  I started this blog not because I am anything close to perfect with regard to my sexuality or anything else in my life, for that matter; rather, Jesus is the only perfection in my life.  It is Jesus’ kind work of grace in this very flawed man that I want to bear witness to.  There are many homosexual Christians in evangelical churches who feel isolated and stigmatized, and it is my hope to give voice to the many who have endured this battle in solitude and to create a sense of community among this group.

This blog is written anonymously due to the private nature of the posts and my professional responsibilities. I wish the church and our society were at a place where these matters may be discussed without judgment or repercussions, but that is unfortunately not the case. I write with the conviction that readers will relate to the anonymity as many have kept this aspect of the heart entirely hidden, and I hope they find solace in the voice that is being given to their experiences. I may change certain aspects of my story that contain potentially personally identifiable information. For the sake of convenience, please feel free to call me ‘COAGEC’.

A little more about me.  I am a Christian man with same sex sexual attractions living in the USA.  My relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in my life, and my church home is in the reformed tradition.  I am a physician, and I love my work as I get to participate in God’s work of healing.  My friends know me as a sharp guy who can be really silly and hilarious at times.

One word of caution about this blog: as I intend to be as genuine as possible in sharing my own journey, some of the posts, particularly the personal testimonies, may contain frank discussions about my sexuality and life events that may offend some sensibilities and may not be suitable for minors.  I will be sharing such matters only for authenticity sake and not for some prurient purposes, and I will seek to keep the descriptions constructive, along the lines of what I might hear from patients in a professional setting.

I would love to hear your thoughts and questions regarding any of the posts.  Also, if you know of people who might be interested in this blog, please spread the word and feel free to reblog my posts.  I am grateful to all the readers for your interest, contributions, and prayers, especially as this blog is just getting underway.

Ultimately, may God be glorified as His gospel is lived out more truly, more faithfully.


10 Responses to About

  1. Joe Thompson says:

    I am so happy I stumbled into this blog. This is an issue I have dealt with all of my adult life. I am an Evangical Christian and have been for 25 years. I have never acted on my urges in my 66 years on earth. It is so refreshing to read about someone who has lived a similar life, “In the Closet”, as it is termed,. I look forward to your future blogs to learn how you deal with your urges and attraction to the same sex. Thankyou for starting this, I am sure we are not alone.

    Joe in Maine


  2. coagec says:

    Thanks Joe for your support! You’re absolutely right that we are not alone, and one of my hopes is that this blog can provide a sense of community among people like us. I hope you’ll chime in with your thoughts and experiences as you feel comfortable to do so.


  3. mjabate says:

    I believe that your blog is sorely needed today. It takes true courage, true boldness, and true faith in our Lord to put yourself out there in this way. By the way, I commend you for pointing out to Tony Jones his incorrect question/categorization of bible believing men and women with respect to the imago dei. It was your comment that lead me to your blog.

    Unlike your present situation, I don’t attend a confessional church or even a Reformed and Presbyterian one like you do. If you’ll allow me some leeway here, I’m in the closet about my adherence to the Second London Confession of Faith. Earlier this year, I married a dynamic Pentecostal woman and serve in her church. The pastor does know about my convictions regarding the doctrines of grace. In fact, I sat down with him before accepting any roles of service in the church.

    Most of my Christian walk has been spent in non-Reformed denominations and churches. Over the last two to three years, I have found myself embracing the theology confessed in the 2nd London Confession of faith. Monergism, Ligonier, Desiring God, Enjoying God Ministries, and other Reformed and Particular Baptistic websites and ministries have been my soil of late. I’m an unusual mix of theology: particular baptist and charismatic. Sometimes I feel like I’m on the outside looking in as I’m too Calvinistic for the Pentecostals (but they love me for speaking in tongues), but I’m too Charismatic for the confessional Reformed, Presbyterian, and Particular Baptist types.

    Anyway, I’m glad that I found your blog. I aim to share it with my friends and fellow bloggers. Godspeed.

    Your brother in Christ,



    • coagec says:

      Thank you so much Matthew for your encouragement and for sharing your story. I can relate to your affinity towards several Christian traditions. Ultimately, it is the same gospel of Jesus that makes us children of God, and I am happy to call you a brother in the Lord. I also appreciate you helping to get the word out about my blog. Due to the anonymous nature of my blog, I’m not able to use my normal social networks to spread the word, so I’m grateful for other avenues that arise.


  4. Becca says:

    This is an excellent blog! I’m so thankful for your honesty and theology! I’m excited to share this with others as well 🙂


  5. Hi there,
    I love that you have decided to engage in this discussion. It is a brave thing to do, and I really think it is worth your time and effort. I look forward to reading you thoughts as you journey.


  6. KIm Batteau says:

    Dear brother in the Lord, Thank you for this blog! I am very encouraged by your honesty, your faith in Christ, and your desire to be faithful to him in your sexual life. A long time ago (1976) I wrote an article for Christianity Today on this subject, concluding that we must show compassion to homosexuals, but also seek to maintain God’s guidelines for sexual life. I still believe that! I am a retired minister of the Reformed Churches in The Netherlands (Liberated) (Gereformeerde Kerken (vrijgemaakt)).


  7. coagec says:

    Thank you Kim for your encouraging message! It sounds like your 1976 article spoke the same message as I am hoping to communicate in this blog, namely that being more faithful to scripture’s call to holiness, love, grace, and humility is important to address the issue of homosexuality in a gospel-centered way.


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